Manager aproves employee's PTO, insists that he be on line anyway, and gives the employee the cold shoulder when he sets the boundary: 'That's how it works here'

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Oct 3, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

An employee's time off is an employee's time off, not a simple formality for managers to ignore and ask for full availability. 

Some managers apparently don't understand that when an employee is taking PTO, they are actually taking time off, away from the office and away from their work responsibilities. If they are not at the office, they do not need to take care of any issues that might come up. There's a reason why companies hire dozens of people in every area. One single human cannot be responsible for everything, and if a person needs to take some time off, someone else should cover for them or manage until they come back. 

My dad worked at a big company for over 20 years. He was in charge of a whole department, and he could barely take time for himself. People were constantly blowing up his phone, asking him even the most ridiculous questions, questions that they should have known the answers to, because that was part of their job as well. He sat in front of the computer all day, sending emails, taking care of numbers, knowing where everything was all the time. He would receive a phone call after another nonstop, plus all the meetings. He hardly ever took vacations, and when he did, he might as well have been working remotely, because it was almost the same. He didn't have his computer on, but the phone calls kept coming in from 8am to 6pm. So yes, I've had more than one crazy managers who doesn't respect boundaries and make their employees work even more than they're supposed to. 

We all need to set boundaries between us and our work; otherwise, we'll never have time for a private life. And if your managers don't respect your time off, you have carte blanche to go to HR and file as many formal complaints as you need. 

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  • My manager scheduled a “quick check-in” during my approved PTO — then acted like I was the problem

    I work as a support specialist at a software company. Last month my manager approved my PTO for a long weekend - first real break I've taken in almost a year. He even said "you've earned it, enjoy."
    via u/huko1319
  • Wednesday afternoon, 2 PM. I'm three hours into a drive to my parents' place. My phone buzzes. It's a calendar invite from him:
    via u/huko1319
  • Cheezburger Image 10668583168
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Employee driving to his parents' house

    Model portrayal.

  • "Quick check-in - 4 PM today." No message, no context. I stared at it and assumed he sent it to the wrong person.
    via u/huko1319
  • I ignored it. I was on PTO. I didn't have my work laptop. I wasn't about to pull over on a highway to join a call I knew nothing about.
    via u/huko1319
  • Thursday morning, I wake up to two missed calls and a Slack DM: "Did you not see my invite? This is getting concerning.” I replied,
    via u/huko1319
  • politely: "Hey I'm on PTO through Monday, as approved. Was there something urgent?" His response: "I approved your time
    via u/huko1319
  • Cheezburger Image 10668582912
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The manager calling the employee. 

    Actor performance of story events.

  • off, but I expected you to still be reachable for critical items. That's how it works here."
    via u/huko1319
  • Here's the thing — nothing about that "check-in" was critical. A coworker later told me he just wanted to ask about a ticket I'd
    via u/huko1319
  • already documented before leaving. He could have asked anyone. He could have waited until Tuesday.
    via u/huko1319
  • Now he's been cold in every interaction. In our team meeting Monday, he made a point of saying "communication standards apply to
    via u/huko1319
  • everyone, even when you're out." I felt my face burn. Two coworkers messaged me privately afterward saying he was out of line, but nobody said anything in the meeting.
    via u/huko1319
  • I keep replaying it. Did I mishandle this? Should I have just joined the call for five minutes to avoid the drama? Or is this exactly the kind of boundary-creep that gets worse if you don't push back once?
    via u/huko1319
  • I haven't gone to HR yet. I'm worried it'll make me a target. But I also don't want to spend the rest of my time here walking on eggshells every time I take a day off.
    via u/huko1319
  • Cheezburger Image 10668583424
    via Dylan Gillis for Unsplash+

    HR meeting. 

    Photo is a representation of scenes.

  • Has anyone dealt with a boss who thinks "approved PTO" still means "on call"? How did you handle it?
    via u/huko1319
  • Alohafromthe808 I would go to HR asap. It's your paid time off. I look at PTO as they are paying me to "stay away and not be in connection". He is way out of line. I would get HR involved. You don't have to deal with that again.
    via Alohafromthe808
  • Curly-Pat Go to HR to start documenting this. It looks like it's going to escalate. UpdateMe!
    via Curly-Pat
  • digital121hippie He's cold because now he knows he can't control you.
    via digital121hippie

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toxic-manager vacations employee manager work Office PTO managers workplace weekend Reddit
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